Spotlight on teen dating violence
Young women between the ages of 16 and 24 are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence than any other age group — in fact, it occurs at a rate almost triple the national average.
That statistic was cited as Gov. Terry Branstad proclaimed February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.
Vicki-lynn Kelly, training and prevention educator at Catholic Charities Phoenix House, said this month is a good time to highlight the efforts under way to end teen violence.
“Safe Dates” is a curriculum being used in area schools and across Iowa to teach teens how to develop healthy relationships.
“While we focus on dating, I would argue that it also teaches about dealing with friendships, co-workers and supervisors,” Kelly said. “We talk about conflict and how to fight fair, as well as what it might look like when somebody doesn’t.”
The discussions are not just about what to do if you are involved in an abusive relationship, but also about what abuse might look like.
“It is a ‘bystander-based’ model, which means the focus is not just on how you may become the victim, but what to do if you see something happening to a friend,” Kelly said.
Teaching teens to spot potentially violent situations in their own lives, or in the lives of others, is the first step to ending violent relationships, she said.
In his proclamation, Branstad said that by providing young people with education about healthy relationships, building relationship skills and changing attitudes that support violence, dating violence can be prevented.
Council Bluffs Mayor Tom Hanafan also recognized the month with a proclamation. His noted that 81 percent of parents either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or don’t know if it is an issue.
“Parents of teens also need to recognize the warning signs that their teen is involved in an unhealthy or potentially abusive relationship,” Kelly said. “It’s important for parents to stay involved and to ask questions about relationships — but to know that how they ask matters.”
She added: “Communicating why you believe what you do is part of it, not just what the consequences would be for breaking the rules.”
Hanafan said teen dating violence — including physical, verbal and emotional abuse, sexual assault and harassment via text, email or instant message — is a reality for many teenagers, and, like drug abuse, it is a reality of which many parents are unaware.
Hanafan talked for nearly an hour with several students from Kanesville Alternative Learning Center after last week’s proclamation signing. Kelly said seeing the mayor share his concerns with the students is what reaching out to them is all about.
“Whether we talk about it or not, violence is happening to young people everywhere,” she said. “So we need to give them voice.”